7 Tips to Keep the Romance Alive When Remodeling

That remodeling your home (or even a room) can get frustrating is the understatement of the year. If you’ve had to consider someone else’s preferences in the process then you know how seemingly insignificant details, like where to place power outlets, can raise tensions and ruin a perfect evening. Yes, it may seem silly but the pressure can get real.

A home remodel is an exciting endeavor and can be a trying journey for couples as well. The destination is a beautiful canvas of change where you can create new memories. While it’s easy to see the potential complications in a home renovation — changes to lifestyle due to the mess, inconsistencies in who’s putting in more effort to get things done, and fighting to see who’s favorite tile will win — it can also be a process that brings couples closer together.

Here are some tips from seasoned contractors and designers who have witnessed countless couples crossing this path. They share pointers on how to avoid arguments and actually use the remodel journey to strengthen your relationship. 

Getting Through Remodeling As a Couple

The first 5 tips come from Alessandra Wood, VP of style at an online interior design service called Modsy. Wood reveals how couples can combine design styles peacefully and create a space that they both love.

1. Align On Your Shared Vision

"Before you get caught up in the design details, have a conversation with your partner about what each of you values in your home. What do you want to use the space for? What are your must-haves and your hard-nos? And where are you willing to compromise?” By talking through the bigger picture before getting to the details, you’ll establish the things you both agree on. Starting off with a common vision instead of a budding awareness of your different wants decreases the chances of potential conflict later on. This mutual understanding will be very helpful when you go on to make style and purchase decisions.

2. Find Ways to Merge Your Tastes

Perhaps the most common cause for renovation conflict is a difference in styles. Luckily there’s a sexy solution: incorporating materials and textures of different styles. That might sound like a small thing but it goes a long way towards setting a room in a different style. Alessandra describes a few scenarios. For example,  "you like mid-century modern but your partner likes industrial? Try looking for pieces with a modern shape but in raw materials, like leather and metals, to satisfy you both. Their style is glamorous but yours is minimal? Maybe stick to a neutral color palette but incorporate chic materials like velvet and gold.”

Meeting In the Middle Doesn't Have to Compromise Design

Even the most contrasting styles have cool ways they can meld together. If you’re having trouble determining how or where to incorporate that transformative touch, an interior designer can really help. One consultation can really clear up any disagreements and help merge your tastes together.

3. Plan to Purge Equally

Renovating your home is a conscious effort you’ve both decided to make to kick off a fresh start. However, two sets of furniture, appliances and all the “stuff” we can’t let go of all become hindrances to that vision.  For that reason, your tangle of things must be addressed as soon as possible. Together you must peacefully declutter your life, and decide what to keep and what to throw away. You will most probably have a different opinion on whose coffee table is nicer or whose couch is of better taste. Alessandra recommends couples ease the tension by agreeing to purge equally.

The First Step To A Happy Life In Your New Home

“This can mean going through items piece-by-piece and deciding which is in better condition or will work better in your new place. Take a critical look at knick-knacks as well, and consider only displaying the ones that are meaningful to both of you. Or, consider scrapping it all and only taking what you absolutely need to furnish your new place for the short-term.”

This is an opportunity for a fresh start, so the goal of your purge should be to leave behind what no longer serves you in order to begin designing a space that works for both of you.

4. Explore Your Styles

Once you’ve cleared away your old furniture, you can begin to explore what interior design styles you want for your new home together: Wood suggests to “Take a tour of your Pinterest boards and explore the possibilities for your space together.” Many interior design firms also offer a 3D rendering service, which allows you to see all the layouts you can dream up in an image of the actual room you are designing.

Figuring Out Your Interior Design Style As A Couple

If you’re not sure what your style is you can take style quizzes online. You can also start by exploring your styles in music, literature, food, pass times, how you spend your day at home, and art - all of which can be reflected in your home’s design. Make a habit of taking and saving photos that appeal to you in other homes’ architecture and design and start building one mood board together.

5. Show off Your Ideas

Sometimes (often) we only like to do things that were our own idea or that come from our independent decisions. Sometimes a romantic weekend getaway is easier to realize by choosing to watch “Roman Holiday” for a movie night together and having your partner come up with the idea first. Similarly, sometimes the best way to convince your partner that the style or piece of furniture you prefer will look best in a space is just to show them. For the most part, it shouldn’t have to be a mischievous operation. Make a habit of sharing your ideas with each other, through mood boards, ordering fabric samples, or paint swatches, instead of waiting for an ultimate showdown between your competing kitchen countertop selections.

“So many of our customers tell us that they were able to get their partner on board with their vision after showing them exactly how their idea would look before committing. So whether you want to try a bold wall color, velvet sofa, or a totally new layout idea...visualizing your ideas can help you both feel more confident about your design choices, which in turn helps relieve the stress of making big-ticket purchases." 

How to Keep the Romance Alive When Remodeling

6. Incite Memories 

Here’s a beautifully simple tip for the win, and it’s no surprise that it comes from a nationally published and award-winning interior designer. Robbie Maynard of Robbie Interiors invites couples to look back on some of their best memories and choose design elements that remind them of those vacations or adventures. “When working on a renovation couples can enjoy shopping for tile and materials together and reminisce about trips they have taken together and elements from the places they have stayed to incorporate into their renovation plan….Many of my clients want to recreate the spa feeling they have experienced while vacationing in their own homes.”

Secrets to Implement in Your Remodel to Keep the Fire Burning

Warm-colored tiles can be reminiscent of the romantic sunsets of Spain, landscape paintings could remind you of the beautiful hikes you took in Colorado, or a palm tree in the living room could take you back to your younger days in California. The genius here is not only that the process of building your home together becomes more enjoyable, but you end up creating a space with happy memories that will keep the love alive. 

https://www.shutterstock.com/image-illustration/white-tropical-bedroom-interior-coastal-style-1495242062

7. Make It Fun

Manage your time so that you are able to include lunch or breakfast dates when you have to go shopping for doorknobs, tile, or furniture. Whether your home renovation project lasts a week or 3 months, use the chore of browsing and shopping as an opportunity to connect, unwind, and pat yourselves on the back for the progress you’ve made. It’s also a good opportunity to discuss remodel-related items on the to-do list. For instance, you could use that time to go over material and fixture options, since it can be difficult to find time to talk about this during the workweek.

Tips to Get Through a Remodel and Stay In Love